dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
