Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
