Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
