Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
