If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
