It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
