Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
