There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
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