I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
Randomize
