I'm passing your future prison.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
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