Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
