What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
