I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
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The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
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We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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