shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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