I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
