next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
