come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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