i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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