I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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