I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
