I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
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