It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Randomize
