Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
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