So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
