This is not my ceiling
I am spending my child support on dildos
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
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