oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
