and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
