Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
This is the high leading the old right now
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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