He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
