sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
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