I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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