Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
