I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize