last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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