He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
smell my finger.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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