break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Randomize
