He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.