Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender