To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.