If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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