it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Randomize