I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
