you lied. pity sex is amazing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
