Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
