Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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