so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
