it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
fuck your aforementioned shoe
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
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