what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
