your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
