So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
