Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
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I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
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So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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