I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
