I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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