Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
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