i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I just blew my weed a kiss
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize
