Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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