i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
