I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
