Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
