hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
You ruined the universe
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Randomize
