I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Randomize
