We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
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