Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Randomize
