Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
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