I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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